There is probably no more complex, dynamic, fulfilling, frustrating, loving relationship than the relationship between parents and children. As children we receive most of our initial programming, the webbing that becomes our inner matrix, from our parents. When we become parents ourselves it’s not uncommon to hear people say things like, “I caught myself doing xyz and thought, ‘My God, I’ve turned into my mother.’” That’s not just a funny (or not so funny) coincidence. That’s your inner matrix at work. We bring to parenting what parenting brought to us. Then, in one of life’s great ironies, many come full circle and take on the role of parenting their parents in their waning years.
Now, here’s the thing: We can’t go back in time and rewrite the programming that laid down the foundation of our inner matrix. But here at Inner Matrix Systems we’ve developed the tools, techniques, and strategies that will allow you to do the next best thing. You don’t have to time travel when you can just hack into the system and reprogram the software that isn’t serving you. Or the people in your life. We call it Reset, and all you need to know about it is right in the name. An opportunity to put the brakes on, take a minute to catch your breath, and reset the nervous system so that it’s aligned with the outcomes you want to produce.
We talk a lot about the idea of Bringing Reset Home. Which is the whole idea, really. At Reset two of the key things we train are Emotional Access and Emotional Resilience. Emotional Access is the ability to access higher emotions and states of being like Joy, Unity, Compassion, Tranquility. While Emotional Resilience is the ability to hold these high states regardless of what's happening around you—a parent is terminally ill; the dog chewed up the {very expensive} shoes you were going to wear for a key presentation; your kid doesn't want to speak to you; someone just rear-ended you on your way to your pickleball tournament. You get the idea.
Putting these two things together—emotional access and emotional resilience—and bringing them home can make a profound impact on the quality of your life and the lives of those you hold most dear. A common theme I see during these programs is people tending challenges in relationships with their parents and their children. Being able to bring a better self home to these relationships creates profound possibilities for healing and brighter futures for generations yet to come.
Juanita’s father was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor in his late 70’s. He’d been in great shape, no sign of what was looming, and Juanita wasn’t ready for it. There were complex feelings from childhood, unresolved issues that she had put off again and again because there would be time, right? But suddenly, there wasn’t. Juanita prioritized Reset when her father was in the last stages of his battle. She was able to examine those old emotional patterns, see the feelings that were connected to them, and instead align her nervous system to access feelings of love, compassion, and acceptance. And more importantly, she was able to bring that state home, creating a powerful impact on her father in his last days, on her family as they grappled with the loss, and on herself going forward with her life. In her words, “It was total freedom.”
At the other end of the spectrum, Carl is a young father with a seven year old son. Carl was deep into building his career, in the office before the sun rises and lucky if he made it home in time to tuck Josh into bed. Not surprisingly, Josh looked for any opportunity to grab Carl’s attention. Carl doesn’t like to admit it, but he would find himself being short-tempered and edgy. He would begrudgingly sit down with Josh and a pile of Legos, but he’d spend most of the time reading emails on his phone. At the time, Carl would tell himself he had no other choice. He loved Josh to death, in fact, the reason he was working so hard in the first place was to make a great life for him.
At Reset, Carl was able to find the clarity to see what he was creating at home. He was able to see that, without realizing it, he was sending a clear message to Josh: nuisance. He was able to see it so clearly because it was the same message he received as a child from his own father. The Reset experience not only showed Carl what he was creating with Josh, it also allowed him to access new feelings of empathy and compassion for his father. It was a two for one! But more importantly, Carl was able to bring that state home with him and start creating something new at home and with his dad.
And that’s what Reset is all about. Access and resilience. Juanita was able to access the emotional state she wanted to bring to the space around her father’s transition, but just as importantly, she learned how to maintain that state throughout the process. Carl was able to see the relationship he wanted to create with his son AND how to find that new space even when the pressure of his career seemed overwhelming. Because, let’s face it, you can have all the happy thoughts in the world, but they don’t amount to much if you can’t put them into action.
Think of it this way: What if your car only worked a quarter of the time? Would you just throw up your hands and say, guess I’m out of luck? No! You would take your car into the shop and find out what in the heck was going on. And any mechanic worth their salt won’t provide a solution that only works until you drive out of the shop. They’ll make sure the car starts every time you turn the key. Reset is like taking your nervous system in for a tune up.
The benefit of Reset is that we have the opportunity to see our impact on the spaces and people in our lives in a safe, judgment-free setting. We’re able to train high states of being as well as resilience within those states. We train how to bring those states home and be able to be a different influence on the space with your parents and your children. Playing that out over time, over generations, just imagine what's possible there.
So whether you’ve never been to Reset, or you’re an old pro, there’s something there for you. If you’re navigating the harrowing path of teenage children, or you’re looking to renew a relationship with a parent, or anything in between, Reset offers you the space to explore your inner matrix. To find out what’s rolling around in there and how it’s affecting the relationships in your life. And finally, to create something new. Click HERE to learn more about Reset and book your spot today!