One of the challenges as a parent is navigating the influence that your actions have on your children. One of my colleagues on the leadership team often quotes her father who said, “Every action is a parenting action...whether you have kids or not. Someone is always watching, and they'll mirror your worst stuff." Kids are like sponges. They soak up everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Even when you think they’re not looking or paying attention, they are. And it’s not only your actions, it’s also your emotional state that is broadcast like a radio signal and your kids are the antenna, picking up every frequency.
When you are operating from a fear-based emotional state, the signal you’re sending vibrates with feelings of fear, anger, resentment, etc. As a result, your children tune into those feelings as well. It can affect the way they behave in relationships, how they manage themselves, and how they view the world at large. But on the flip side, when you operate from a love-based emotional state, your kids absorb that as well.
Emotional training is the most powerful tool that you can add to your parenting tool kit. When you train the nervous system to function in a love-based state, you operate from a place of strength and confidence. Just through osmosis, without even making a conscious effort, your kids will take those qualities on for themselves. If we do nothing else, raising our children to be confident, resilient, and self-reliant is the key to creating a better world for all.
But you don’t have to just take my word for it. Here’s what one client had to say about the effect her training has had on her family:
“At a certain point I decided that it wasn't 'selfish' to travel to Denver multiple times a year to train. I was living in LA at the time and would take time away from the family about 10 weekends per year (and a handful of weekdays, too). I had a teenager and a preschooler and a leadership job, so weekends were really my only focused time with the family. Colleagues and friends would ask me how I was able to get away so often, and I was always quick to respond that I made it a priority when I could see the impact of who I was when I came back. I was a better mom...not to mention a better boss, colleague and person in general.
My kids and my husband didn't protest either – they missed me, but they saw how much it meant to me, how lit up I was every time I came home. What I didn't even see until later was that in prioritizing my own training and development, and leaving for my own adventures, I was training my kids to be independent and unafraid.
I saw this so clearly recently when my 11-year-old, who had never been away from us for more than a night, left for a sleep-away camp without the slightest pang of homesickness...and didn't even want to come home! I see it in my son, who, now 19, took on a leadership role in his job and is incorporating his own IMS training in leading his team. I gave them some valuable things to emulate, not the least of which was a drive to always be growing and improving myself. That's a triple win in my book - I win, they win, and anyone who's watching wins too!”
Our Power Series is designed to provide you with the tools, techniques and strategies for training the nervous system to give you mastery over your emotional states. The ability to recognize when you’ve slipped into a fear-based state allows you to process those emotions, and then shift back into a love-based state. It’s a skill that not only creates a life filled with peace, joy, and serenity for yourself, but also for the people in your life. Especially your children. Because, even if you’re not aware of it, the kids are always watching! So click HERE to learn more about the Power Series and sign up today!