Recommendations are a funny thing. People love them for things like restaurants, vacation spots, sightseeing destinations. You ask the server, “What’s your favorite thing on the menu?” and you ask your well-traveled friends, “Where should I go while I’m in Italy?” You welcome recommendations for a good plumber, or roofing guy, or mechanic. But when it comes to something personal, hearing a recommendation can feel like being ordered to do something. A friend raves about the new gym they joined, says you would love it, but what you hear is, “You could stand to lose a few pounds.” When your sister tells you she knows a bunch of people who made love connections on FindMySoulmate.com, what you hear is, “You don’t want to die an old spinstress, do you?” And when you tell people you’ve found something that has profoundly changed your life, that for the first time you’re firing on all cylinders, that you want to stand on a mountain top and share it with all the world, your friends are like, “Cool your jets, Becky, I’m not interested in drinking the Kool-Aid.”
Here’s how it usually goes: You’ve tried all the self-help. The books, the support groups, the seminars. You picked up some helpful tips here and there, but mostly all you’ve accomplished is spending a lot of money. Then you heard about IMS. Maybe you read my book, The Inner Matrix, you subscribed to the Newsletter, you signed up for a Power Series course with one of our Certified Trainers. Then you took the leap and joined us for a Power Series weekend intensive and POW! Your world was turned upside down (in a great way) and you walked away thinking, I know at least 15 people who need this in their lives!
There’s your best friend, Connie, who’s struggled with her weight since you were sophomores in college. She’s tried every diet, every workout regimen. She’s hired personal trainers and nutritionists, even hypnotists. And she’s had results from all of them, but the process of getting there made her so miserable that she would lose her steam and the cycle would start all over again. You’ve been by her side all the way, but now, after just your first Power Series weekend, you can see that it’s never been about the diet, or the workout regimen, or the $500/hr psychotherapist. It’s about Connie’s emotional patterns around food, movement, and body image. You understand that the only way she will create health and vitality in her life is to recognize the patterns that are in place, then train new ones that align with the outcomes she’s looking for.
How about your cousin, Kurt? He opened the fine dining restaurant six months ago, his dream for the last five years, and what Jodi, his wife tells you (because he’d never admit it), is that he’s been absolutely miserable. You just chalked it up to stress, long hours, and hard work, what are you going to do? But now you understand that Kurt doesn’t have to be miserable doing what he loves. In fact, when you say it like that, it sounds pretty ridiculous, doesn’t it? Kurt should love doing what he loves! Of course there’s going to be stress and long hours and a lot of hard work, but Kurt can train his nervous system to manage those things from a state of peace and joy rather than frustration and resentment.
Then there’s your sister. The one who wants you to join the dating website. Her own marriage has hit a particularly rough patch. You don’t know much of his side of the story, but according to your sister, the relationship just isn’t what it used to be. There’s something missing. And if she sees another dirty sock on the floor she’s going to consider committing a serious crime. You know she can benefit from the training you’re doing. She can learn about the nervous system and how it’s programmed with emotional patterns from our childhood. How those patterns and how they show up directly affect the relationships in our lives. She can learn about the dynamics of romantic relationships, how they change over time, and how she can train the nervous system to grow and evolve along with it.
And the list keeps going. Friends and family and coworkers. Hell, the lady at the supermarket checkout. Turn on the news for five minutes and you’ll think the whole damn world could use some of this training. And you’ll find one or two people who might come along just based on your recommendation. But most people, when you tell them you’ve found something that’s changed your life, they look at you from the side of their eye. “No, really, there were like 250 people in a room and we were all creating our visions and then we closed our eyes and we were deferring accountability, you know, like you're really choosing no belief right now... and then we traded papers and there were sticky notes and we meditated…and I mean…it was epic. You should totally come.” Mouth hanging open, glassy eyes. “I don’t understand any of the words you just said.”
So you dial back the enthusiasm from 11 and put it into layman's speak but still, for some it’s a Sounds Too Good to be True scenario. For others, their egos won’t let them consider that they could use some help in the first place. And others might take it as a flat insult, “So, what, you’re saying there’s something wrong with me?” What I have found over two decades now of doing this work is to simply let the results speak for themselves. Do the work and get the results you're after, and people in your life will notice. It's like getting a different haircut or shaving your goatee - people tilt their heads and squint their eyes with that “Something's different; I just can't put my finger on it” look.
And it’s not just what their eyes are seeing. There’s an actual biological process happening in your brain, those mirror neurons doing their thing. Those are the specialized brain cells that allow us to replicate the actions, the intentions, even the emotions of other people. Like when you see someone jam their toe into the corner of the coffee table and you flinch and go, “Oohh”. Those are your mirror neurons firing, “remembering” the last time you jammed your toe into the coffee table and recreating the feeling in you. So when you start showing up in a different way, the mirror neurons of the people around you are going to start firing. Your way of being can actually be infectious at an unconscious level and trigger that “I’ll have what she’s having” response. People will want what they see in you for themselves.
So when Connie looks at you with a raised brow and says, “What’s up with you girl?” you know it’s your moment. WaPOW! Whip out one of our handy Refer-A-Friend Cards and say, “Why don’t you come see for yourself?” Let her know you’re already signed up for the next Power Series weekend in Denver and you’d be happy to book a hotel room with two beds. From there it’s up to her, as it should be. Connie’s only going to get results when she decides she’s ready to create them. But your example is going to be hard to ignore.
Click HERE to find out about upcoming Power Series weekends and book your next journey today. And hey, bring a friend!