Unlocking Personal Mastery: Breaking Through the Stages of Unconsciousness, Awareness, and Ownership
Most of you know the story of my journey toward personal mastery. As a child and up through young adulthood, I was in a lot of emotional pain. I didn’t really know it at the time. I was just going through the motions, living with the pain, totally unaware that I could actually do something about it. I wasn’t living life; life was just happening to me. Girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend? Sounds about right. Totaled the car I just spent my life savings to fix up? Par for the course. Working shitty jobs to make ends meet, crashing in the spare bedroom of a friend’s house, struggling through physical pain without the resources to get the proper medical care, it all just seemed to be my lot in life. The cards I was dealt.
It was only when the pain became so intense that I realized I could trade those cards in. I didn’t have to wait for the dealer to give me a new hand; I could create a hand of my own. It was like my eyes were open for the first time. I had the ability to choose a journey of my making and, believe me, when you have that realization it’s like a door opening on a world you never knew existed. I immersed myself in martial arts to get my body into top physical shape. I traveled the world, studied the world’s religions and philosophies, psychology and human behavior. I put myself in rooms with high achievers and I learned their strategies and routines. Once I had gathered all of those tools and techniques, I used them to take ownership of my life and make a commitment to create outcomes of my own design.
The journey to personal mastery occurs in three stages, and we like to think of moving from one stage to the next as passing through a window. Stage 1 is Unconsciousness. It is here that we are just going through life, lost in our patterns, believing that the world is simply happening to us. When we are in enough pain AND education and training are available to us, there is an opening to pass through the window into Stage 2: Awareness. It is here that we develop the ability and capacity to choose. We become aware of ourselves and our patterns and hone the tools we need to shift out of fear-based patterns. How we relate with Stage 2 will determine our results and whether or not we transition into Stage 3: Ownership. In Stage 3 we are committed and accountable, and persistent optimization is possible. However, people often get caught in Stage 2 and can stay stuck there for months, years, maybe even their entire lives, because they are either Processing or Tolerating. Maybe even some combination of both.
When lead project manager Frank was just little Frankie, growing up in his family home, the holidays were always his favorite time of year. The anticipation started building as soon as the first Halloween decorations started to go. Every year, he would have lots of expectations. For what, he couldn’t really tell you. Wanting to recreate some feeling from years past, maybe. Whatever the case may be, reality would never quite live up to whatever it is Frankie had been hoping for. There was nothing wrong with any of it, the parties, the presents, Santa Claus and his reindeer. It was just never quite the way it was supposed to be. Whatever that means.
Today Frank has his own family. He has a successful career with a big company you’ve probably heard of. He lives in a beautiful home in a great neighborhood. He still loves the holidays. Frank’s built a pretty darned good life. But that old feeling, things just aren’t how they’re supposed to be, still nags at him. Frank is caught up in a cycle I call Processing. By constantly focusing on how he thinks things are supposed to be, he’s unable to see what’s right in front of him.
As you travel down the path toward personal mastery, you might find yourself stuck in a cycle of Processing. It can set in even after you’ve already done a lot of good work, followed the curriculum, done the daily exercises, practiced your Inner Training. You’ve attended weekend programs and worked regularly with your IM Trainer. And you’re seeing results. You’re feeling fit and healthy, your relationships are improving, the career path seems brighter than ever. But there’s still that nagging voice telling you things just aren’t the way you imagined they would be. Maybe you have no real idea of what things are supposed to look like, or maybe it’s crystal clear, based on some prior expectation. Either way, you’ve hit a wall on your journey and you’re starting to sour on the idea of pouring even more blood, sweat, and tears into this thing. And this is the point where I invite you to lean in. The window to Stage 3 is open, but you’ve got to push hard to make your way through it.
Gina is everybody’s best friend. She’s been the Maid of Honor in three weddings and a bridesmaid in at least three more. But she’s never been the bride. She’s never been the fiance. She’s barely ever been the girlfriend. She never imagined herself still single, almost forty. She always thought she’d be married, have a few kids running around. It just never seemed to happen for her. That’s what she tells herself, anyway. Her friends push her to try online dating, but who has the time? Besides, she has her routines, her Netflix, her wine. She’s comfortable. She doesn’t need the hassle, right? Gina?
Gina is Tolerating. She knows what she wants, but she’s comfortable enough with the rest of her life that it becomes easy to just accept something we wish to be different. Gina’s surrounded by friends and family, she’s got a career that’s on an upward trajectory, she’s in great physical shape. So she’s not going to be a wife and mom, those are just the breaks. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Similarly, on the way to personal mastery, Stage 2 can feel comfy and cozy and it becomes inviting to just stay put. You’ve worked hard to get to Stage 2. You’ve built up a solid set of tools and you’ve honed your skills. And now you’re looking at me and saying, Seriously Joey? You want me to go even further? My answer, as you probably already know, is, You bet your ass I do. Even at the highest levels of Stage 2, you’re still in the early part of your journey.
Transitioning into Stage 3 means going beyond recognizing and managing our emotional state. It requires taking ownership and accountability of our emotional patterns and our actions. That’s going to mean experiencing some discomfort along the way and many people simply are not willing to opt in for that. But it’s not called Personal Good Enough, it’s called Personal Mastery.
The good news is our programs are designed to guide you through your journey toward personal mastery. We have the tools, the direction, and a community of like-minded people to help you along the way. The path to Personal Mastery begins at the Power Series. Click HERE to learn more about our core curriculum and start your journey today!
