Jeff is a real financial wiz. Everything he touches turns to gold. He reads the markets like tea leaves and he makes money hand over fist for both himself and his clients. Most people would look at Jeff and say, Now there’s a guy who’s got it together. But no matter how much money he manages to accumulate, it’s never quite enough. There’s always another move to make, another deal to close. People who work with Jeff would tell you he’s not a very nice guy. His ex-wife wouldn’t be so polite. So what’s going on with Jeff? He seems to be doing what he loves, what he’s passionate about, and he’s made more money than he could ever spend. Why in the world is he so miserable?
One of the most popular outcomes people want to create when they come to my weekend intensives is wealth. Which makes sense, money makes the world go 'round, right? Regardless of your feelings around money, it’s at the center of just about everything we do. You’re going to have a relationship with it. Just take a sec and think about all the songs, sayings, figures of speech there are about money. Think about what you heard your parents and grandparents say about money when you were growing up. We all know the greatest hits: Money doesn't grow on trees! What am I, made of money? Money is the root of all evil. If money were no object... Mo’ money, mo’ problems!
We're all programmed with beliefs around money. Most of them, we didn't choose, we inherited or absorbed them from the people around us. Whether you grew up eating government cheese or caviar from a silver spoon, you were handed down beliefs about money that you carry around with you today, even if you don’t realize it. And a person’s history and their beliefs around money don’t always align in the way you might assume they would. I’ve worked with clients who grew up dirt poor but have the most aligned relationship with money I’ve ever seen, and I’ve worked with people who never wanted for anything but have beliefs around money that are leading them in the opposite direction from where they want to go. It’s not so much about your experience with money as it is about the emotions that were transmitted to you from your parents, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, anyone of influence when you were growing up.
Jeff’s parents divorced when he was two. He has no conscious memory of his parents being married, or the divorce, but his nervous system remembers. A couple of months before Jeff was born, his dad’s business went belly up. It was like a nuclear bomb going off. The marriage fell apart. Jeff and his mom moved from their big family home into a small studio apartment. And mom was either scared or angry all the time. By the time Jeff started kindergarten the storm had passed. Both parents remarried, his dad started a new thriving business, and Jeff grew up with a typical upper-middle class childhood. But the seeds of some very particular beliefs around money had already been planted.
As soon as he was big enough to push a lawn mower, Jeff started looking for work around the neighborhood. When he was old enough to get a work permit, he got his first job bagging groceries at a supermarket. In fact, from the first time Jeff lost a tooth and found two dollars under his pillow, there’s never been a day that he wasn’t plotting, scheming, or planning ways to make money. But it’s never really been about the money itself, it’s about what the money represents. Peace, comfort, safety when it’s there; fear, insecurity, and anger when it’s not.
Jeff thinks his motivation for accumulating all that wealth is happiness and fulfillment, but what’s really driving is his fear of losing it. See, there can never be enough when you're constantly afraid of not having it anymore. Not to mention, the more you make, the more there is to lose! Jeff keeps expecting happiness and fulfillment to come with the next deal, the next big score, but as long as the fear is there, no amount will ever get him what he’s looking for. It’s no wonder he’s always in a bad mood.
We all have our belief systems around money and what creates them is as varied as there are people on the planet. Because money is at the center of almost everything, it’s crucial that we have a relationship with it that will move us toward the vision we hold for our life. To do that, we need to first get clear on what exactly money is. Remove all emotion from it and understand that, at the end of the day, money is nothing more than a utility. A means of exchange. You want something, you gotta pay for it. You want money to pay for things, you gotta earn it. The amount you earn is determined by what you have to offer. Any ideas or stories about money beyond those simple realities is pure emotional patterning that was imprinted on you in childhood.
The good news is, it doesn’t matter what those emotional patterns are because you have the ability to change them, to evolve them. At a recent Power of Focus Virtual Weekend Intensive, we put together a Belief Matrix around Wealth based on beliefs that have served me very well. Beliefs around creating wealth on my own terms. For me, it starts with talent. I develop my talent to the degree required for the level of wealth I want to earn. High money requires high talent. I leverage the money I have to develop my talent, so I can produce more money and more talent. I then leverage the money I make utilizing my talent to make more money. See, money makes babies in the form of interest and investments returns. So my investments produce my cashflow; I only spend my residual income. I’m fully aware that my earning potential is relative to the value I provide people and that money is a resource to create impact. More money, more impact. And I am committed to whatever is required to hit my marks and create the life I want to live.
Feel free to borrow any of these, and create your own. Or better yet, let's do it together at a Power Series Weekend Intensive! When you attend a program, you’ll have the time to dive deep into your emotions and beliefs around money. Learn to explore them, understand them, where they come from. Train yourself to recognize when those patterns are presenting themselves and then shift away from them. We can help you to develop a new belief matrix around money and guide you through the process of implementing it. Click HERE to learn more about the Power Series and sign up today!
